


Covita

by Anonymous



Category: Evita - All Media Types, Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Anti-Trump, Gen, Parody, Song fic, Songfic, lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26866699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Donald Trump’s balcony speech, to the tune of Don’t Cry For Me Argentina
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4
Collections: Anonymous





	Covita

Look, it’s so easy  
For me to breathe!  
I’m the healthiest I’ve been in years!  
Though my face and my hands  
Are still ten shades apart.

You must believe me!  
What you see here is a man who’s immune,  
Although I just held back a cough...  
It must be my bone spurs, it’s true.

I had to get the virus.  
It was my choice!  
But I couldn’t stay locked in my suite  
Working hard with my Sharpie, signing papers galore.  
I chose to spread it  
Driving around with my limousine crew.  
My driver’s in quarantine now.  
But I really don’t care, do u?

Don’t vote for me, all you liberals.  
The truth is that I don’t need you,  
Your mail-in voting,  
Your masks and distance.  
The DOW adores me!  
(cough)  
(To WH staffer) Please, some assistance?

And as for Biden, Kamala too,  
They never fought my Vietnam.  
Warding off STDs while those losers just died.  
They love abortions!  
Not like me—just look at Tiffany!  
I swear I’ve loved her the whole time...  
But Daddy, you never loved me!

Don’t vote for me, all you liberals….  
(Breaks down into a fit of coughing and collapses Grizabella-style, until a model in a lab coat rushes on stage to give him a shot of some experimental drug. And he is revived!)

Don’t vote for me, all you liberals.  
The truth is that I don’t need you!  
Your mail-in voting,  
Your masks and distance.  
The DOW adores me  
(Looks at phone)...until I tweet this.

(In a panic, to Ivanka and Jared)  
Have I said too much?  
Do you think there’s a chance Putin won’t come through?  
No, we rigged the election once.  
It can’t be all that hard  
To rig the next one too!


End file.
